When To Get Help
While it may take some time and require a lot of patience, many children with special needs can be potty trained by the age of 3 to 5 years. If you continue to have problems or your child is very resistant, then consider getting professional help.
In addition to your pediatrician, you might get help from an occupational therapist, especially if your child has some motor delays causing the potty training difficulty, a child psychologist, especially if your child is simply resistant to potty training, and a developmental pediatrician.
Social Stories And Toilet Training
Social stories can help autistic children cope with challenging or confusing situations like toilet training.
Experienced speech pathologists, occupational therapists and early intervention or school teachers will be able to help you create a social story for your childs toilet training.
If your child will be going to the toilet at a friends home or somewhere else other than home, practise a new story for this situation with your child ahead of time. When the event happens, the story can help your child know what to do.
When youre writing a social story, use words and pictures that your child can understand. Suggest possible responses and behaviour, rather than making the story an exact script to follow.
Signs That Children Are Ready For Potty Training:
Childrens Hospital Boston, Woolf, A., Kenna, M., & Shane, H., Eds. Childrens Hospital Guide to Your Childs Health and Development. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books, 2001.
Community Paediatrics Committee, Canadian Paediatric Society, . Toilet learning: Anticipatory guidance with a child-oriented approach. Pediatrics & Child Health, 5, 333-335. Available online.
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Try A Variety Of Approaches Dont Get Discouraged
My husband and I had tried various methods over the past 3 years. We used picture symbols breaking down the process of toileting on a Velcro strip. We kept a bowel movement chart for 3 weeks so we could see what time of the day Marc tended to have his bowel movement, and then we sat him on the toilet for those times. We created a social story for toileting. When none of those methods worked, we used a behavioural contingency plan with photos of Marc sitting on the toilet, a photo of broken pieces of Oh Henry bar in the toilet, and a photo of his reward ripple chips. If he didnt poop in the toilet , then there would be no chips. None of these methods worked.
What Is A Physical Disability****

A physical delay is a condition that impairs mobility and movement. It may be that it is an inability to use legs, arms, or the trunk effectively. It can be caused by a birth defect, disease or an accident, among other things. Physical delays can make it harder to train a child.
According to BirthInjuryGuide.org, Its important to note that children with cerebral palsy may have suffered medical issues that prevent them from toilet training successfully, including bladder control problems, urinary incontinence, and bowel issues. These problems cannot usually be helped without medical intervention, and there may be several occasions in which the child doesnt make it to the toilet in time. As mentioned earlier, in some instances, urinary incontinence may last a lifetime.
A urologist can help you determine if your child has achieved urinary continence, the act of controlling the release of the bladder.
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Teach Them To Wipe When You Potty Train
Right from the word go, you need to teach your kids how to wipe their bottoms.
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When Should Toilet Training Begin
Toilet training should begin when the child shows signs that he or she is ready. There is no right age to begin. If you try to toilet train before your child is ready, it can be a battle for both you and your child. The ability to control bowel and bladder muscles comes with proper growth and development.
Children develop at different rates. A child younger than 12 months of age has no control over bladder or bowel movements. There is very little control between 12 to 18 months. Most children are unable to obtain bowel and bladder control until 24 to 30 months. The average age of toilet training is 27 months.
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Early Childhood Physical Development: Toilet Training
During early childhood, children learn another self-care skill that gives them more independence than any other skill they will learn during this phase of life – toilet training. It’s also one of the self-care skills that caregivers most anticipate, as leaving diaper duty behind is a huge relief. Surprisingly, toilet training is a controversial topic. How soon should children learn to use the toilet on their own? What is the best method? Should parents use training pants or go cold turkey with real underwear? We provide a brief overview of toilet training in this article. Caregivers interested in learning more specific and detailed information about toilet training can consult our article about toilet training.
In theory, children could be ready for toilet training as early as age 2, because most babies of this age recognize the urge to urinate or defecate and can control the sphincter muscles that facilitate waste elimination. Before this point, infants are simply unable to physiologically monitor and to control waste removal from their bodies. In other words, very young babies and toddlers can’t tell that they have to “go” before it’s too late , and they are unable to control whether or not they “go”.
Break Down The Process Into Stages And Dont Give Up
I discovered the key to toilet training an older child is patience, persistence, and breaking down the process into achievable goals. I wanted to give up when the fecal smearing was happening throughout the day for the first month. I was discouraged when the Power Cards didnt work. I combed the internet for some words of wisdom and found nothing. The key was going in stages and rewarding each stage, then raising the bar as those goals were achieved. Any habit can take weeks to break. Marc had been in diapers for nine years and I was kidding myself thinking toileting would not take several weeks, maybe even several months. It was also important to take the emphasis off of having a bowel movement into the toilet. Getting into the bathroom was the first thing that needed to happen. We had jumped too many steps, not realizing how hard this transition was going to be for Marc.
Even though toilet training Marc was a challenge, it was worth it. He gained a new level of independence and confidence. Marc was so proud of himself. As parents, we were relieved to have achieved this milestone, one that we are still celebrating nine years later.
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Expert Tips To Potty Train Kids With Special Needs
For parents of children with developmental disabilities, potty training can be life-changing. Not only is it more convenient, cleaner, and cheaper than diapers, but it can also open doors: no more social shame and stigma around having an older child who is still in diapers, and the ability to enroll in pre-school .
We understand and are here to help. Below are our seven favorite potty training tips curated by MeBes Co-Founder and Executive Director, Abigail Bunt, M.Ed., BCBA and Director of Quality Assurance, Elizabeth Jordan, MA, BCBA. Say hello to an easier, more successful potty training experience.
Box 1 Steps For Toilet Training
- Step 1: Setting the scene
- Step 2: Developing the skills needed
- Step 3: Raising awareness
- Step 4: Using the toilet
- Step 5: night time control
PromoCon provides a national service, working as part of Disabled Living, Manchester, to improve the life for all people with bladder or bowel problems by offering product information, advice and practical solutions to both professionals and the general public. PromoCon runs a confidential helpline and has a range of free downloadable booklets and leaflets.
- Helpline: 0161 834 2001
- www.promocon.co.uk
Bakker E, Wyndaele JJBritish Journal of Urology InternationalBarone JG e alJournal of Pediatric UrologyHackett R et alChild care Health and DevelopmentHelstrom AL, Sillen ULakartidningenJournal of UrologyRogers JTalk about going to the toiletSchonwald A et alPediatricsSimon JL, Thompson RHJournal of Applied Behavior AnalysisTarbox RS et alJournal of Applied Behavior Analysis
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Whats Different Between Girls Wiping And Boys
Its a question of anatomy! If germs manage to track along your urethra they will reach your bladder where wee is stored. Normally there are no bugs in your bladder. When your bladder gets bugs in it, you become unwell with a urinary tract infection or wee infection.
The distance that the bugs need to travel in girls is very short.
The distance the bugs need to travel in boys is longer. The bugs need to go up the length of their willy before they reach the bladder.
The size of a boys willy depends on their age and size but it will always be at least a cm, even in a baby.
So its much easier for girls to get a UTI from not wiping properly than for boys to get one.
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Staying Dry Overnight This Comes Later

For night dryness, sometimes all it takes is for a parent to wake the child and take them to the toilet just before the parent goes to bed. However, some children, particularly those on the autistic spectrum, have irregular sleeping patterns and if they wake up overnight they might not be able to get back to sleep. Work out what suits your child and your family best.
Staying dry overnight is something that often just happens all by itself as your childs grows and matures. Sometimes it doesnt, and if that happens, there are all sorts of products on the market that might help, such as bed-wetting alarms and monitors. Some parents have used them to great success, others have found that the alarms become a source of extreme anxiety in their child. Only you know your child and whether these might be a help or a hindrance.
There are also some great incontinence under sheets and similar products available which many families have found really helpful. See below for a list of products recommended by other parents.
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What Does Existing Research Tell Us
Neurodivergent Children or those with with developmental delays, learning disabilities or autistic spectrum disorders generally take longer to attain toilet training independence and are at a higher risk of developing constipation or soiling . As well as later attainment of bladder and bowel control, almost 20% of children with learning disabilities can have continence issues that persist into early adulthood . Expectations for this group of children seem to be lower, perhaps perpetuating a delay in achieving toileting independence.
If Your Child Takes A Long Time To Learn To Use The Toilet
- Try to get clothes that are easy to wear, change, and wash.
- Items such as large size nappies, waterproof mattress covers and covers for duvets and pillows may be available from the continence service, when your child is three or four- ask your health visitor. If not, you can get them from larger chemists.
- If your child is older, it is often you as their parents who understands their needs, and you may be able to devise your own strategies.
- Do not despair. Try to speak with other parents for support, advice and tips.
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Also Do You Know About Eric Uk They Are The Childrens Continence Charity And They Have Loads Of Information And Help And Some Great Downloadable Resources Resources Too
Are you on Facebook? If so, have you seen The Special Parents Handbook Page? Its full of the best information, advice and support for families of special needs children.
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When Not To Start Potty Training
There are some issues that can sometimes get in the way of successful potty training. For example, when children are going through a significant change or several changes at once it might be smart to hold off on adventures in potty training. At these times, children often feel overwhelmed and sometimes lose skills they have already learned or were making progress on, like potty training. Common situations that can cause stress and are generally not good times to start training include:
- An upcoming or recent family move
- Beginning new or changing existing child care arrangements
- Switching from crib to bed
- When you are expecting or have recently had a new baby.
- A major illness, a recent death, or some other family crisis
If your child is in the middle of potty training during a stressful time and seems to be having more accidents than usual, know that this is normal. Your child needs all of your patience and support right now. She will return to her previous level of potty training once things have gotten back to normal.
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How To Use Positive Practice
Another useful technique is positive practice for accidents. Dr. Schaefer describes this as what you should do when your child has an accident and wets or soils himself.
This technique involves firmly telling your child what he has done, taking him to the potty where he can clean and change himself and then having him practice using the potty.
Dr. Schaefer recommends going through the usual steps of using the potty at least five times, starting when “the child walks to the toilet, lowers his pants, briefly sits on the toilet , stands up, raises his pants, washes his hands, and then returns to the place where the accident occurred.”
Although you are trying to teach him the consequences of having an accident, this should not take the form of punishment.
Some Tips To Get You Started
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Two Goals To Achieve Toileting Independence
In toilet training, two goals need to be met in order to reach independence: continence, where the individual can recognize the sensation to go and mastery of the chain of behaviors accompanying a visit to the toilet . These goals are the end of successful toilet training and are not prerequisites to begin toilet training.
To Use Rewards For Potty Training Or Not

Many parents wonder about offering rewards for using the pottya sticker, an extra sweet, or a little toy every time their child is successful on the toilet. Although these kinds of rewards may encourage progress in the short run, the concern is that for some children, the pressure of success in the form of the reward creates anxiety or feelings of failure when they have a potty accident. The other risk is that the use of rewards for toileting can lead children to expect rewards for doing almost anythingfinishing a meal, brushing teeth, etc. When parents are matter-of-fact about potty training and dont make a big deal about it, children are more likely to follow their own internal desire to reach this important milestone.
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